Virtual parenting: A valuable tool or a dangerous web?

Fifty years ago, parents worried that their children would rot their teeth with gobstoppers and sherbet lemons. Today we worry that they'll rot their minds with computers.

And with good reason, if a television documentary is to be believed. According to a survey of 100 people, carried out for the BBC programmeThe Virtual Revolution, young people are increasingly unable to focuson one webpage at a time. Instead, because of habitual computer use, they constantly flit between webpages.

Not only that, but some experts claim that excessive web use will lead increasing numbers of young people to seek treatment for mental disturbance over the next three years. It's a far cry from the days when the greatest danger of corrosion came from excessive sweet intake and even that could be counteracted by limiting pocket money. Stemming the tide of digital experiences is tougher. That's not to say one should just give up and open the floodgates.

"The first rule is not to fall for the line 'My friends have all got computers in their bedrooms'," says parenting expert Julie Johnson. "They haven't. Which is why it's essential to keep lines of communication open with the parents of your children's friends."

Absolutely right, says psychologist Dr Pat Spungin, author of TheTeenager Manual (Haynes, £14.99). Forget the information superhighway, she says. The most useful data available to the modern parent is accessed via parental note-swapping over the avocado dip.

"That way you find out that although one set of parents may have taken leave of their senses and allowed their 10 year-old to have a laptop by her bedside, the rest of you are appalled at the prospect, and close ranks," Dr Spungin says.

Indeed, while cast-iron commandments are hard to come by in the ever-shifting field of parental digi-policing, one thing most people seem to agree on is that any computers used by young children should be in a communal, public part of the house and not tucked away in a bedroom.

"Actually, that's just the start of it," stresses Simon Fuller, managing director of Grid Learning, creators of the Telegraph's educational games website, GridClub. "Not only do you need to see what your children are doing on the computer, you need to talk to them about it, as well. What's more, you need to listen to what they are telling you, and resist the temptation to be negative. Ask if you can play one of their computer games with them. You don't have to compete, you can go on a two-player game, where you'll both be on the same side."

Definitely a good idea, says mother-of-three Anne Wynter, who regularly plays a Lord Of The Rings computer game with her 12-year-old son Peter. "Although Peter's much more skilful than me, we still make quite a team. You'd be surprised how much of a bond you form when you're stood side by side, fighting off orcs."

But how do you exert control over computer use when you're busy cooking dinner?

"One way is to buy time-limiting software that shuts the computer down," says Will Gardner of the responsible-computer use charity Childnet. "Ensuring your children only have access to age-appropriate material is another [computer games are now graded like films]. But probably the most effective method is to draw up a written family agreement, signed by you and your children," he says.

This can be a simple "I'll only do one hour a day" promise, or it can run to a 19-part document such as the sample on the Childnet website.

The crunch comes, however, when the computer needs to be used not for recreation, but school work. It's one thing to stop a child slaughtering cave trolls, it's another to stop children doing GCSE research on the Crusades.

"It may well be that in the end you have to allow older teenagers to have a laptop in their room to do homework," says Johnson, who also runs computer advice classes. "That said, there should be some limit put on the amount of time they spend in front of a screen, whether it's the TV or the computer. The maximum recommended time is two hours per day, but on average, British children clock up five hours a day," she says.

"There also has to be a rule that at bedtime, the laptop comes out of that room. As does the mobile phone. Otherwise there's a big temptation for kids to switch these things on if they wake up in the middle of the night. On top of that, there's plenty of evidence that the light emitted from mobiles and laptops reduces the production of melatonin in the body, thereby affecting sleep.

"As a result, the no-laptop rule applies not just to the children, but adults, as well. It's important for mothers and fathers to set an example."

Childnet's Will Gardner agrees. "How you behave as a parent is crucial," he insists. "Let's face it, you don't have much credibility lecturing your children on computer use, if you spend your entire life attached to your BlackBerry."

SHOULD PARENTS LIMIT COMPUTER USE?

 

The pros

·         Computer games now come with age-suitable certificates, from the Entertainment Software Rating Board (esrb.org)

·         Computers improve hand-eye co-ordination (and job prospects)

·         Homework assignments increasingly need online research

·         Learning can be more fun on a computer (visit gridclub.telegraph.co.uk)

·         Some children find it easier to express themselves on a computer screen, rather than on paper

·         There is lots of advice for computer-worried parents (visit childnet.com)

The cons

·         Many computer games are violent and unsuitable for young children

·         Some children can't spell or do sums without help from their computer

·         The World Wide Web has many distractions that offer scope for time-wasting

·         There's a danger that children will learn to interact better with machines than people

·         Computers promote a bleary-eyed indoor, rather than healthy outdoor culture

·         Virtual reality can become blurred with real life

Nutrition for Children and Teens-HELPING YOUR KIDS DEVELOP HEALTHY EATING HABITS

Good nutrition is the bedrock of lifelong health, and it begins in infancy. Healthy eating can stabilize children’s energy, sharpen their minds, and even out their moods. Unfortunately, kids are bombarded by messages that can counteract your efforts. Between peer pressure and the constant television commercials for junk foods, getting children to eat well might seem more futile than fruitful.

However, there are simple steps that parents can take to instill healthy eating habits in their kids, without turning mealtimes into a battle zone. By encouraging healthy eating habits now, you can make a huge impact on your children’s lifelong relationship with food and give them the best opportunity to grow into healthy, confident adults.

Developing healthy eating habits

Children develop a natural preference for the foods they enjoy the most, so the challenge is to make healthy choices appealing. No matter how good your intentions, trying to convince your eight-year-old that an apple is as sweet a treat as a cookie is not a recipe for success! However, you can ensure that your children’s diet is as nutritious and wholesome as possible, even while allowing for some of their favorite treats.

The childhood impulse to imitate is strong, so it’s important you act as a role model for your kids. It’s no good asking your child to eat fruit and vegetables while you gorge on potato chips and soda.

Top tips to promote healthy childhood eating

§  Have regular family meals. Knowing dinner is served at approximately the same time every night and that the entire family will be sitting down together is comforting and enhances appetite. Breakfast is another great time for a family meal, especially since kids who eat breakfast tend to do better in school.

§  Cook more meals at home. Eating home cooked meals is healthier for the whole family and sets a great example for kids about the importance of food. Restaurant meals tend to have more fat, sugar, and salt. Save dining out for special occasions.

§  Get kids involved. Children enjoy helping adults grocery shop, selecting what goes in their lunch box, and preparing dinner. It's also a chance for you to teach them about the nutritional values of different foods, and (for older children) how to read food labels.

§  Make a variety of healthy snacks available instead of empty calorie snacks. Keep plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grain snacks, and healthy beverages (water, milk, pure fruit juice) around and easily accessible so kids become used to reaching for healthy snacks instead of empty calorie snacks like soda, chips, or cookies.

§  Limit portion sizes. Don’t insist your child cleans the plate, and never use food as a reward or bribe.

How can I get my picky child to enjoy a wider variety of foods?

Picky eaters are going through a normal developmental stage, exerting control over their environment and expressing concern about trusting the unfamiliar. Many picky eaters also prefer a “separate compartmented plate,” where one type of food doesn’t touch another. Just as it takes numerous repetitions for advertising to convince an adult consumer to buy, it takes most children 8-10 presentations of a new food before they will openly accept it.

Rather than simply insist your child eat a new food, try the following:

§  Offer a new food only when your child is hungry and rested.

§  Present only one new food at a time.

§  Make it fun: a game, a play-filled experience. Cut the food into unusual shapes.

§  Serve new foods with favorite foods to increase acceptance.

§  Eat the new food yourself; children love to imitate.

§  Have your child help to prepare foods. Often they will be more willing to try something when they helped to make it.

§  Limit beverages. Picky eaters often fill up on liquids instead.

§  Limit snacks to two per day.

Healthy eating for toddlers and young children

Toddlers can be introduced to new tastes and textures as they transition from baby food to “real” food. Keep in mind that toddlers have very small stomachs. It may be better to feed them 5-6 small meals a day, rather than three large ones.

Depending on age, size, and activity level, your toddler needs between 1,000-1,400 calories a day. It is perfectly normal for your child to be ravenous one day and shun food the next. Don’t worry if your child’s diet isn’t up to par every day—as long as he or she seems satisfied and is getting a well-rounded diet.

Nutritional needs of toddlers and young children

An important part of a toddler’s diet is calcium (they need about 500 mg/day), and the best source of this nutrient is milk. Until the age of two they should drink whole milk, but older toddlers can usually switch to 2% or skim milk if approved by your pediatrician. If your kids are lactose intolerant or don’t like dairy, incorporate calcium-rich foods like fortified soy products, cereals, and orange juice.

Toddlers need 7mg a day to prevent iron deficiency, which can affect growth, learning, and behavior. In infancy, breast-milk has a readily-absorbed type of iron, and baby formula and food is usually iron-fortified, so babies don’t need to worry about getting enough iron. After switching to “real” food, it's important to ensure that your child is eating good sources of iron like fortified cereals, small amounts of red meat (like soft meatballs), or eggs.

A “weighty” problem: children, weight and self esteem

Children who are substantially overweight or obese are at greater risk for cardiovascular disease, bone and joint problems, sleep apnea, and poor self-esteem, as well as long-term health problems in adulthood. While childhood obesity doesn’t always lead to obesity in adulthood, it does raise the risks dramatically. The majority of children who are overweight during preschool or elementary school are still overweight as they enter their teens. Most kids do not outgrow the problem.

Addressing weight problems in children requires a coordinated plan of physical activity and healthy nutrition. Unless directed by your child’s doctor, though, the treatment for childhood obesity is not weight loss. The goal should be to slow or halt weight gain, thereby allowing your child to grow into his or her ideal weight.

Think of exercise as a food group in your kid’s diet

Add physical activity to your child’s day, just as you would add fruit or veggies. To encourage physical activity, play with your kids - throw around a football; go cycling, skating, or swimming; take family walks and hikes; and help your kids find activities they enjoy by showing them different possibilities. The benefits of lifelong exercise are abundant and regular exercise can even help motivate your kids to make healthy food choices.

Kids and junk food

 No matter how well parents promote healthy eating, it can be difficult for any kid to avoid the temptation of junk food.

Instead of eliminating junk food entirely, which tends to increase cravings even more, try substituting some healthier alternatives.

Eating out with kids: fast food and restaurant nutrition for children

It might be challenging to persuade your youngster to order a salad instead of a cheeseburger, but you can steer them towards healthier options. Some important tips to remember about fast food and restaurant dining for kids:

§  Avoid sodas – Kids should drink water or milk instead.

§  Avoid chicken nuggets – Unhealthy imposters of real chicken.

§  Skip the fries – Consider taking along a bag of mini carrots, grapes, or other fruits and vegetables to have instead. This will add vitamins and fiber to the meal.

§  Order the kid's meal with some substitutions – Children often love the kid's meal more for the fun box and toys than for the food. Ask to substitute healthier choices for the soda and the fries if possible.

§  Opt for chicken and vegetables or spaghetti with tomato sauce in a sit-down restaurant, rather than a big plate of macaroni and cheese.

Source-Maya.W.paul

Play, Creativity, and Lifelong Learning

By nature, humans are born to play. Playing is instinctive and fundamental to our existence. Playing helps us survive and thrive by connecting us to other human beings and to sources of energy and excitement within ourselves. Play is simultaneously a source of calmness and relaxation, as well as a source of stimulation for the brain and body. Playfulness helps us be more inventive, smart, happy, flexible, and resilient. A sure (and fun) way to develop your imagination, creativity, problem-solving abilities, and mental health is to play with your romantic partner, officemates, children, grandchildren, and friends.

Play is often described as a time when we feel most alive, yet we often take it for granted and may completely forget about it. But play isn't a luxury - it's a necessity. Play is as important to our physical and mental health as getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising. Play teaches us how to manage and transform our "negative" emotions and experiences. It supercharges learning, helps us relieve stress, and connects us to others and the world around us. Play can also make work more productive and pleasurable.

Despite the power of play, somewhere between childhood and adulthood, many of us stop playing. We exchange play for work and responsibilities. When we do have some leisure time, we're more likely to zone out in front of the TV or computer than to engage in creative, brain-stimulating play. By giving ourselves permission to play with the joyful abandon of childhood, we can continue to reap its benefits throughout life.

The lifelong benefits of play

Play connects us to others

Sharing joy, laughter and fun with others promotes bonding and strengthens a sense of community. We develop empathy, compassion, trust, and the capacity for intimacy through regular play.

Play fosters creativity, flexibility, and learning

Play is a doorway to learning. Play stimulates our imaginations, helping us adapt and solve problems. Play arouses curiosity, which leads to discovery and creativity. The components of play - curiosity, discovery, novelty, risk-taking, trial and error, pretense, games, social etiquette and other increasingly complex adaptive activities - are the same as the components of learning.

Play is an antidote to loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression

When we play vigorously, we trigger a mix of endorphins that lift our spirits and distractions that distance us from pain, fear and other burdens. And when we play with other people, with friends and strangers, we are reminded that we are not alone in this world. We can connect to others in delightful and meaningful ways that banish loneliness.

Play teaches us perseverance

The rewards of learning or mastering a new game teach us that perseverance is worthwhile. Perseverance is a trait necessary to healthy adulthood, and it is learned largely through play. Perseverance and violence are rarely found together.

Play and relationships

Play is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. Playing together for the fun of it brings joy, vitality, and resilience to relationships. Play can also heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Through regular play, we learn to trust one another and feel safe. Trust enables us to work together, open ourselves to intimacy, and try new things.

Play helps us develop and improve our social skills

Social skills are learned in the give and take of play. Verbal communication and body language, safety and danger, freedom and boundaries, cooperation and teamwork: all are discovered and practiced repeatedly during infant and childhood play. We continue to refine these skills in adulthood through play and playful communication.

Play teaches us how to cooperate with others

Play is a powerful catalyst for positive socialization. Through play, children learn how to "play nicely" with others - to work together, follow mutually agreed upon rules, and socialize in groups. As adults, play continues to confer these benefits. Evidence even shows that play may be an antidote to violence. In fact, those who avoid or have never learned to play may become lost in the world of fear, rage, and obsessive worry.

Mutual play can heal emotional wounds

When adults play together, they are engaging in exactly the same patterns of behavior that positively shape the brain in children. These same playful behaviors that predict emotional health in children also lead to positive change in adults. Studies show that an emotionally-insecure individual can replace negative beliefs and behaviors with positive assumptions and actions by living with a secure partner. Close, positive, and emotionally-fulfilling relationships heal and create emotional resiliency. Play provides a safe and joyous context for the development of such relationships.

How to Recycle or Donate Old Toys

If you’re a parent, you likely have several giant bins filled to the brim with toys for your little ones. Organized or not, the relative size of our children’s toy boxes has become incredibly large given their small stature, and the environmental problems are equally ill-proportioned:

• Mountains of trash: Of the 40 million toys thrown away annually, 13 million are put into the trash.[1]
• Difficult recycling: Because toys are made from many different materials - plastics 1-7, metal, glass, computer components, and more - they are incredibly difficult to recycle and in many cases are not accepted by recycling facilities.

Where to donate used toys

Donating used toys to a good cause can be one of the most effective ways to recycle toys. Not only does this prevent garbage from being sent to landfills, it provides a second life for your used toys, which means the materials will go on being function for many months or years to come. The sky’s the limit when it comes to donating used toys - use your imagination to find a person or charity who could use your secondhand toys:

• Children’s charities
• Children’s hospitals
• Churches
• Day homes and day cares
• Family members
• Friends
• Neighbours
• Playgroups
• Thrift shops like those through Goodwill or the Salvation Army

As an added benefit, some charities will give you a tax-deductible receipt for your toy donation, so if that’s of interest, be sure to ask for one.

What toys are generally accepted for donation

Not all toys can be donated to charities for various health and ethical reasons. To ensure that your toys have the best chance of being given away rather than trashed, consider these toy donation guidelines:

• Toys should be nontoxic
• Ensure that the toys are clean and are not missing parts
• Broken toys are unlikely to be accepted, especially if they pose a choking hazard
• Avoid toys with a religious theme unless you’re donating to a faith-based charity
• Toys that require batteries are not as suitable for donation as they will require the parents of the child to purchase batteries (which may be out of their budget)
• Toys made from things like fabric, cardboard, paper, and other absorbable materials are often rejected as they are difficult to clean and disinfect
• Generally charities will not accept gifts of food or candy

In addition to donating used toys, there are many ways you can recycle toys so that they don’t end up in the landfill:

• Contribute to a toy library: Some communities have toy libraries that are like book libraries - you can check toys in and out so that your child is never bored with their personal stash. Each toy library is unique to the local community, so the best way to find one in your area is to do a search online for your city/town name + “toy library.” If you can’t find out in your neighbourhood, set up your own toy library.
• Sell or trade: Sometimes a toy is too valuable to simply give away, in which case you should try to sell your used toys. You can either sell toys at your own garage or yard sale, or check out our recycling database where we have a great list of general resources you can use to sell your used things, as well as toy-specific online communities for selling and swapping.
• Recycling centers: Some communities have set up recycling programs for large plastic toys and metals toys as well, though you will need to call ahead to determine your recycling center’s toy recycling policy.
• Deconstruction: If you’re recycling center will not take your toys as is, sometimes you can dismantle them yourself to recycle the various components, such as the paper, cardboard, metal, and plastic which can then be put with other recyclables of the same kind. Cardboard and paper components can also be composted.